Tuesday, November 14, 2006

Lunatic Fringe

My wife has suggested to me I need to be more open, honest and personal in my blogging about mental health issues. I've pondered for several weeks what this is suppose to look like.

It is obvious I have somewhat of an interest in mental health, namely counseling, not so much psychology. I am not as much interested in the scientific side of the human mind and soul as I am in the human side of the human mind and soul. I like to make the scientific relevant to everyday life so that life is more easily and joyfully lived. I also love theology. I love the challenge of working out theology in the context of mental health and counseling. But I digress.

Seriously though, how am I to be more personal while writing about mental health issues? You're probably on to me by know. The reason my wife is encouraging me to be more open and honest is because I do have a story to tell. A very personal journey about the way God has ordained that I be drawn closer to Him through living this life suffering, more than the average person, from health problems of the mind (did I just create a new politically correct term for mental illness?) Fraid not! I am just attempting to use humor to deflect the uncomfortable feeling everyone feels when someone else is (quasi)confessing something personal.

What I write about I've lived with. I want to keep writing about mental health issues and specifically biblical counseling. I will try to weave in bits of my own story when I think it is appropriate, and by appropriate I mean useful. I've come to an understanding that I will not ever be cured from my problems of the mind in this life. The so called problems are what God uses to extend His mercy and grace to me personally, directing me through humbling struggles, so that I pursue Him alone when all else in life seems like death. Christ is life! My "problems" have always revealed where my heart is at in relationship to God. I know in my mind I am a sinner but my behavior while living with my "problems" proves that I am a sinner. In telling my story I do not want to glorify sin, but only God! I pray that my story helps others who suffer from particular "problems" of the mind. May Christ be seen for who He is; good, merciful, loving, and Lord.

So here is a bit of my story...just a small bit to get things started:

One of my three biggest fears in life is to be found certifiably mentally insane. To be a lunatic. I've carried this fear ever since I can remember as a young boy. Even today, one of the most sobering, bone-chilling, road-straightening, to-be-feared-more-than-death possibilities is the idea of being so mentally incapacitated that I would need to be locked up. Isn't that ironic? Some would call it psychosomatic. I just think it is...crazy!

God have mercy.

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