Thursday, August 03, 2006

To Skate With A Knife

Yes I've said it before "No running with scissors" or "No playing with knives". I am a father of four children. Last night little Nathers grabbed a steak knife from the kitchen table so fast I saw stars as my heart stopped immediately. Amazingly Mommy Carla grabbed it away from him even faster. I'm digressing already.

What I want to post about is the fact that I am fighting an internal battle. Hopefully writing about it will help me process through the complexity. Dog lovers are going to hate me after this post.

These days I train longer distances. I cover more ground. I pass more houses. Therefore, I encounter more dogs on the loose. Most of the time I fly by too fast that the dogs don't see me coming or going. There is this one yard though where a smart dog lives. Lately he's been waiting for me. This morning he approached me barking and ready to attack but he stopped right at "his" property line. Too close for me though. I happen to like the training route this dog lives on and I refuse to allow him to determine my skating destiny.

Big deal you say. It is just a dog, right? Perhaps it makes a difference for you to know I was attacked as a boy by two dogs that came out of the woods as I walked home from the bus stop. One of the dogs got me, right in the butt, the left cheek. He bit through my jeans and broke my skin. Since then, lets just say I am sensitive, or keenly aware (rather), of nearby unleashed dogs.

Basically, I need a training tool (aka weapon.) I'm ok with any dog shorter than knee-high because I'll just run over it and keep moving. The higher than knee-high dogs are the ones that pose the challenge. I was thinking this morning I'd really like to carry my handy dandy pocket knife. I like it for its fast action lever which allows me to engage the blade almost as fast as a switch blade. If the dog ever gets to close, I enable the fast action lever, jab, and move on. Jab, and move on. Jab...and move on. As long as I am protecting myself, do you think I'd get in trouble? The way people care more about animals than people these days, I'd probably end up in the prison system.

There is the alternative to let the dog attack me and then sue the owner. My chances of winning are greater if I don't have a weapon. But, man, I just don't want to get bit again. It hurts!

I've thought about carrying a sawed off baseball bat. I could easily handle it. The chance of tripping and stabbing myself is slim to none with a thumper tool. Skating along, see dog coming, thump and move on. Thump, and move on. Also, my conscience feels somewhat better giving a concussion than stitches.

I've decided not to skate with knives.


Carla said...

Any responsible pet owner should want to protect you and their pet! While strollering chilluns around I, too would like a thumper for those pets who need a reminder. Thump and move on.

kristi noser said...

Too bad squirt guns leak when they're in your pocket, cuz I think one filled with ammonia would make that bowser sit up and take notice. I am a dog liker, but any dog that sits in wait for someone coming by deserves a thump, or whatever.

Joey said...

I also was bit in the butt by a dog when I was younger. I can't remember left or right cheek, however.

Either way, it went through my jeans and broke skin as well. A wolf dog, to boot. To this day I don't like most dogs.

Kelli said...

I'm thinkin' a well-aimed shot of pepper spray or mace should stop that bugger in his/her tracks. Either that, or when you're not training, just stop by and have a chat with the owner. favorite.

Kandi said...

I was going to suggest something about gun holsters...

(Now let's see if the Internet Police come knocking at my door.)

How much trouble would it be to bring a fresh bone on your skate?

erin said...

I'm glad you're not going to skate with knives--I do have a suggestion, though. My dad used to run long distances. He was good at working with rope (sailor stuff), so he found a rock, tied a fist-like knot around it, and knotted it to a tether that wrapped around his wrist. He never used it, but one swing was effective enough to at least scare them off. Dogs, I mean. could carry treats.

Reegz said...

Light and throw a brick of firecrackers at him. Bring your camera too-I would like to see it on U tube.

Brandy Dopkins said...

Electric Taser, my friend. Not only do they work, they are extremely cool.

This is why we have a drop kick rule. The Dopkii fam will never own a dog too large to be drop kicked should a child be in danger.