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Monday, September 10, 2007

I Hate Mannaquins

UPDATED

It was a tough weekend. I came to terms with my hatred of mannequins. In the way of psychological diagnosis I suffer from Pediophobia (fear of dolls). I was at first a little taken back. Because the way I see it, there really is no fear, just hatred. Also, my problem is not with all dolls.

My daughter has a life-size Barbie doll (about 4 feet tall) and I can NOT stand the thing. If I get close enough to it I fight hard to resist temptations to kick the frozen-smiley-face-child-play-thing across the room. Either that or punch the blonde head to the moon. The thing freaks me out! I hate it!

As a good friend proposed in his attempt to counsel..."But why, Pat? Why? Why are you afraid of dolls?" First off, like I said, it is not fear, and B, who gives a rip. Get rid of the doll!

UPDATE: I just realized something very important. All afternoon, while stewing and perseverating in my irrational fear (anger) toward dolls (not all dolls), I kept asking myself "Where did we get that stupid life-size Barbie doll anyways, man I hate that thing." I realized that my mother gave the doll to my daughter as a recent birthday gift. Ooops! Sorry Mom. No offense. No foul. I'll never act on my fear, promise. Still love ya.

10 comments:

Carla said...

I hate ventriloquists dummies. Oh and puppets.

Carla said...

and clowns.

kristi noser said...

Hey me too!
Maybe because the Hollywood movie makers have taken these supposed-to-be-innocent-fun things and made them into killers and scary things.
There! Blame all your irrational fears (hatred) on Hollywood. Works for me.

Anonymous said...

hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm......I really didn't mean to cause such anquish... Remember though, I asked first before I gave it to her! Love ya too

Mom

Paul D said...

Pat, I think you may have a problem with this doll in particular because of the sociological aspect of it. The perfect image set forth by Mattel's "Barbie" line of dolls may be causing you to feel unsure and less secure about your own place in society. Indeed, can anyone measure up to the level of a Barbie or Ken? Just kidding with all that crap, it's probably just freaky. (Sorry Pat's mom)

Pat Stream said...

I truly would love to continue with the psycho-babel because I am always game to knowing myself better...but seriously, I hate the doll because it is just plain ugly...and stupid...and freaky (here we go again.)

Brandy Dopkins said...

I can't blame you, man. Dolls are creepy. When I was a tour guide at the octagon house we used to dare each other to go into the doll room after closing. It was freaky.

kelli said...

Four words for you, Pat:

Build-a-Bear Workshop

Swampy-Rah said...

Anna has one that she can feed then change the wet diapers on...
It also talks, of course. Cheryl was handling it in the kitchen one day while we chatted with visitors; she remarked how annoying it was to keep hearing it say "I love you, Mommy." and as she pretended to wring its' neck, inadvertantly whacked it's little head on the counter. It belched then giggled.
Perhaps you could tell your daughter that ran off with G.I. Joe.

Hope this helps you reconcile the fact that you have a life-size inflatable woman in your house...

Pat Stream said...

Man...I can believe this post set a new comment record for me. Of all posts, it had to be this one!